What should I start with? ????
A couple of years ago I could not imagine that I could live with a foreigner, especially with an American. It was quite clear for me that with different mentalities, different cultures, and education the men and women can’t live together. Of course, I did not criticize such couples, but could not understand how people can live together, or rather not even so … How can people be willing to live together !!! For me it was a question to which I do not even look for answers. It was not interesting for me.
But life – is an interesting thing!
It happened so that I was divorced, I was living alone with two children. At that time I was financially independent, but I understood that fact that it is bad to live alone.
I would like to live as a pair, allowed to be weak, to feel the strong man’s shoulder next to me.
But what could I do if I didn’t trust men? If in every word, every gesture you see a lie?
I don’t know … if you ever feel like that, but I did.
You know, in general, I’m purposeful. Sometimes, of course, I can be in a small depression, but it’s usually takes not a long time. I live with the conviction that the road will be passed if you go through it …
So, while traveling one road, for me it was leadership training, my friend convinced me that I need to get acquainted with foreigners. She had much more experience than me.
I was 34 years old and she was 47 with 10 years of loneliness behind her… And no, not because no one wanted to marry with her. No… She is a very beautiful, educated, intelligent and self-sufficient woman, maybe that’s why she didn’t hurry… she liked her life, being free. But it was till that time when her son grew up and started to live alone. And she got too many problems!! All at once, and to do everything alone! Then she felt her loneliness!!!
So… I changed a little my topic. I met my American! After 3 weeks of correspondence he flew from Miami to Ukraine. Marriage came a few months later. All, as in the movie “Moscow Does Not Believe in Tears” – You don’t think for a long time, if you are real man.
Yes… and I thought that any where but America…
That’s what I thought before I came to this country… But, when I came, or better to say after a month of staying there, I completely changed my opinion about this country. But it was not my opinion, it was the opinion that came to us from the Russian media.
I will not tell you a long story, but I liked the US.
Measured life, stability, smiling people… It surprised me that in America many (not all of course) in life is arranged so that the right to be good! Right to work hard, right to keep the law, right to be a polite seller, not rude specialist, etc.
I like that I can go to the police and they would help me. I like that they can give me a ticket after which I will not want to break the rules! I like the local roads. I like that no one pays attention to my accent, and have the same attitude toward me like they do to citizens born in this country.
And most of all I like the fact that in the eternal struggle between good and evil, America is on the good side!
And I do not have the feeling that I left my country … Of course, sometimes I have an melancholy, but there’s Skype, which erases all the boundaries, I’m aware of all the events that take place at home. And it does not bother me to fly to Ukraine. Of course it’s a long flight, but at least once a year, it can afford it.
You can certainly say that I have not seen anything better. But I can assure you of this, I traveled quite a lot so I have something to compare to.
And I love Ukraine! It was and is my homeland, my home, which I can always visit.
Of course, moving to the United States is not an easy task. And I have to be patient, because there is a proper scientific name of this entire process – “Out of the comfort zone”.
We are used to live in our apartment, house, etc., we are accustomed to the store near the house, a favorite cafe, children are accustomed to school, to friends. And so it goes on…
On the other hand, your new husband – adapting to differences in language, different culture and education … There are and will be misunderstandings . The main thing is a mutual desire to build a family. Learn from each other. And it’s not easy!
I will not describe my life with my American husband, sorry, it’s too personal for me.
I will tell you one very important conclusion for me … Here I feel protected. Here, I am learning to be a woman.
I want that my children feel good as they grow up, and for them it’s also not easy at first. Especially until they learn to speak English as their first language and acquire friends.
It’s how do I feel … to being married to an American. ????